Today I learned the hard way how to use the bus system. I arrived precisely on time, I was in the right spot, etc. The bus was coming towards me, it was the right number, the right letter… And then it went right past me. I was so confused. Turns out nobody had thought to tell me that you have to raise your arm to signal the bus. Long story short, I didn't go to my class. I went home and drank hot chocolate instead.
There are so many things that I don't know. I am not used to feeling this incompetent and useless. I need to learn to let myself make mistakes. In the past, if I made a mistake, I would beat myself up about it to the point where I was terrified to make a mistake. That is harmful, I know, but I felt that I needed to. Here though, in Finland, nothing really matters. I can afford to make mistakes. I can afford to get a B- or even a C in class because it doesn't matter. This year is about me figuring out myself. Sari and I talk a lot about these things at night after the kids go to sleep. I haven’t answered all, if any of the questions I have about myself and about my life, but our talks have been helpful and thought-provoking.
Reppu: Backback
Laukku: Handbag
T-Paita: T-Shirt
